The Great and Powerful AUS

The teaseful touch of an Aussie afternoon breeze; a sky so blue you find yourself skirting the yonder horizon with the Fairy Wren’s and Willie Wagtails; honeysuckle; and genuine, uncontrived kindness from a people who barely know your name — samplings on a platter, that’s what they are, situated right beside a thousand more reasons as to why you should never enter the Land of Oz lightly.

Ah — but if this was just about poetry.  Alas, it is not.

What is this need we fathers have with holding on??  An African lioness clearly knows when her cubs are ready to hunt on their own.  And Tyto’s are certainly unafraid when it comes to pushing their owlets clear of the nest.  The entire animal kingdom appears better suited to handle these rites of passage than we do.  It’s almost as if rearing human offspring should come with a special warning label.

[WARNING: Prolonged exposure to this product may cause loss of sleep, nausea, heartburn, and premature aging — and in rare cases, bankruptcy and even death.]

So why is it we struggle so??  Well — it took 10,000 miles, a different continent, and a different hemisphere, but I think I may have finally tripped onto something.

I am a father of two, have been for nearly 20 years.  Time may bring experience but it doesn’t necessarily guarantee understanding.  Plenty are the things that I’ve experienced in my life that I’m still completely clueless about — like why I EVER allowed my mother to feed me pigs feet when I was growing up!  But I digress.

20 years.  20 years of wiping butts and clearing tears.  20 years of watching little girls go from Little Bear and Franklin, to gushing about the kissable hotness of Tom Hardy and Chris Pine.  20 years of trips to the hairdresser and 20 years of keeping that metaphorical shotgun cocked and ready for boys.  20 years.  It’s not the number that should stand out.  No.  It’s all of the million points of  interaction.  Moments that mesh.  And you cannot mesh that much and not expect to be netted by the very thing you were apart of building.  It’s impossible.  We are nothing if not creatures of relationship.  We yearn for it.  We strive for it.  And parting may be the natural course of this world, but there is no parting without peeling, and peeling brings pain.  Just ask anyone suffering from the effects of an Australian sunburn.  It brings discomfort.

So does that make us weaker?  Are we then lesser beings because we struggle when cords must be cut??  Maybe.  But I rather prefer to think that I’m graced.  And why graced?  Because.  I endured 19 hours of travel (37 overall), the clear consternations of my dear wife, the mood swings of four premenstrual women, and a bitter goodbye, only to find myself face-to-face with the brightness of my daughter’s purpose, and too many are the fathers I know that sorrow because their children seemed devoid of it.   Purpose is the grace.  It is the salve that sooths the heartache.  Did I cry?  Yes.  Was it hard to leave my daughter so far removed?  Yes.  But in the most unexpected moment, when I was certain I was going to crumble, I found certainty.  Suddenly I was the lion and the great Wizard was giving me courage.  Suddenly I had a bridge to stand on.  Purpose.  Yes, I knew I had my daughter’s love.  But when you’re faced with such gulfs, that only a parent can know, it’s not about knowing or not knowing such things that helps you cross.  It’s about finding the strength to unclench your hand.

So what did I discover in the Wonderful Land of Oz?  Listen close, for it’s the simple truths that we often miss when we’re expecting more complicated answers.  It’s ok to struggle.  God gave us such hearts.  The key is this: See not the parting.  See the purpose.  For the truth is, there is always a tie that binds.

Inkling #5:
What is The Seven Thunders?  It is the coming of age.