An Interview with a Keelaroo

Live!  From the great sunburst stage of  Radio City Music Hall in New York!  Welcome!  To the first ever Seven Thunders live event!

(applause!  applause!  applause!)

I’m your host, O.C. Jaime.  And with us today, straight from the Thunderlands of the North Star.  Give it up! — for your favorite big-boned best friend — Tayori Keelaroo!!!

(applause!  applause!  applause!)

[O.C. Jaime]  Wow.  I’d say that’s some reception.

[Tayori Keelaroo]  You aren’t kidding.  Hello everybody!  Oh, I almost forgot…  I brought you a little something from my parents and the folk back at  Keelatoo Farms.  Hope you like wallopberry wine!  Better be careful though.  Haha.  One time I found my dad naked in the hay loft.  It’s true.  He was drunker than a skunk.

(We love you, Tayori!)

[Tayori Keelaroo]  Haha.  I love you, too.

[O.C. Jaime]  Wallopberry wine — wow, this is a treat.  Thank you.  And don’t worry; I’ll put it away for safekeeping. (wink-wink)  The wife’s a bit of lush, you know.  Haha.  Now, Tayori, inquiry minds want to know.  How old are you…really?

[Tayori Keelaroo]  Thirteen.  No, really, I am.  It’s just my big-boneness that makes me look older.  But I am thirteen.  Honest.

[O.C. Jaime]  Thirteen…  Wow.  You really are mature for your age.  Now this is your first year at a Thunder academy.

[Tayori Keelaroo]  Yes, it is.  Real exciting.

[O.C. Jaime]  Glimmeroc?

[Tayori Keelaroo]  Yes.  Home to the Fourth!

[O.C. Jaime]  I imagine your family must be really proud.

[Tayori Keelaroo]  Are you kidding!  I’m like the first Keelaroo to ever get into a Thunder.

[O.C. Jaime]  Terrific, terrific stuff.  Well, I can’t begin to tell you how thrilled we are to have you.  The Seven Thunders is all anyone’s talking about.  Well just ask your fans!  Wouldn’t you all agree?

(applause!  applause!  applause!)

[Tayori Keelaroo]  Ahh.  Well I’m the one who’s thrilled!  Who wouldn’t want be part of the first Seven Thunders live event?  And at Radio City Music Hall?!  Am I right?!

(applause!  applause!  applause!)

[O.C. Jaime]  Well what do you say we take a few questions from the audience?

[Tayori Keelaroo]  Yeah.  Absolutely.  Shoot.

[O.C. Jaime]  Awesome.  Now remember everyone, we’re streaming live.  So for all you social media types out there itching to use up your 140 characters, just make sure you’re using our hashtag #SEVENTHUNDERSLIVEEVENT when making your comments.  Ok.  First question.

[Fan]  Yes — as your fans, we’d like to know if there was ONE THING that you could tell us about your world that we don’t know from the book, what would that be?

[Tayori Keelaroo]  If there was one thing, what would that be?  Hmm…  You know!  Well, I guess it would have to be about Wielders!

[O.C. Jaime]  Now just to be clear, Tayori, Wielders in your world are what?

[Tayori Keelaroo]  Well according to the New Briny Journal…

(applause and laughter)

[Tayori  Keelaroo]  Haha.  Like that, huh?  You know I can’t string two sentences together without mentioning my favorite publication.  Haha.

(The New Briny Journal rocks!)

[Tayori Keelaroo]  Haha!  It’s good to know your audience has taste.  Yes, it does rock.  Anyways — the New Briny Journal has a Rare Magical Objects section.  Yeah-yeah, you probably already know about it.  Well, they catalog the coolest stuff there.  Did you know they say Wielders come from the four immortal elements?  And that that’s what makes them instruments of power?

[O.C. Jaime]  Instruments of power?  And each Thunder has one?

[Tayori Keelaroo]  Yes.  But they’re different,  and they’re used for different purposes.  Like ours for instance, a flight suit made of leviathan skin.  But the First Thunder has an enchanted sledgehammer, the Fifth Thunder’s is dragon breath, the Third Thunder has a healing chest, the Second Thunder boasts about their magical quiver and bow, the Sixth has chess pieces — trust me; they’re cooler than they sound — and Seventh cadets are trained in stardust.  See?  Different.

[O.C. Jaime]  And so to the fan’s question — what is it about Wielders that we don’t know that you want us to know?

[Tayori Keelaroo]  Well, it’s like I was saying. The New Briny says they are born from four immortal elements.   The North Star really isn’t that different from your Earth, you know.  You got oceans, we got oceans.  You got mountains, we got mountains.  You got deserts and forests, and we got deserts and forests..  And we all got our legends, right?  Well,  at the beginning, as the New Briny tells it, the Triunes — which is what we call our Gods, by the way — well, they supposedly  cast  four immortal elements into the cosmos: something like earth, something like stardust, something like fire, and something like wind.   And it’s said these elements are what gave each Wielder their special powers — mixed in with some kind of magic, which they really don’t go into much.  Don’t worry.  Haha.  I’ve already written a long letter to the editors asking them why.  I think they know me by name over there.

(Yeah!  Magic!)

[Tayori Keelaroo]  Haha.  Someone out there has had a little too much subavi.

(laughter)

[O.C. Jaime]  So no water?

[Tayori Keelaroo]  I know, right?  I thought so too.  I mean like, where’s water on this list?

[O.C. Jaime]  Well maybe the Triunes cast water later.

[Tayori Keelaroo]  Hey that makes sense…

[O.C. Jaime]  You’re gonna ask the New Briny aren’t you?

(laughter)

[Tayori Keelaroo]  Busted.  Haha.  See.  I was just making myself a note.  “Ask editors about water.  Why not on list??”

[O.C. Jaime]  But you were saying…  I mean before I distracted you.

[Tayori Keelarro]  Yes — as I put away my geeky note.  Anyways… yes, well, we Weyeans, like me, call this legend the Making.  The Olyrian’s call it Empesartus.  Folk from Leonisse refer to it as the Day of Waking’s Waking.  The polar people of the Winteranges are convinced it’s why the great borealis hangs in the sky.  Those in Kingshire say it never happened, but they are city folk, so what do they know.  The desert nomads of Mido talk about it using hieroglyphs.  Their neighbors to the west, the Umbrian’s, believe in it so much, they carved giant images into their hillsides and rainforest.  Let’s see…  And the Sarassii, well, let’s be honest, you can’t even get them to talk about the subject unless its a holy holiday.

[O.C. Jaime]  So hold on.  Your saying these four immortal elements formed the Wielders?

[Tayori Keelaroo]  Well I wouldn’t quote me on it, if that’s what you mean.  Haha.

(laughter)

[Tayori Keelaroo]  Haha.  Seriously, I don’t know.  Nobody does.  But Wielders are among the most magical things in our world.  If they did come from Gods, it sure would explain a lot.  Anyways, who doesn’t like a good story?  I know I do.  Anyone else out there a sucker for Wielder lore?!

(Wielder lore rocks!)

[Tayori Keelaoo]  I’m with you.  Wielder lore rocks.

Inkling #18:

What is the Seven Thunders?  It is Tayori Keelaroo and his love for the New Briny Journal, and the plethora of  theories it has for the gifts the Gods have given.